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Playing Defense, Time to Share

So I am on my laptop this morning and my adorable daughter comes over and attempts to push the buttons, I guide her hand away and she tells me, “Mommy, you need to share”.  Seems all the repetition has paid off.

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Posted by on August 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

A Memorial Weekend..

The journey with the kids continues, we have some friends that were kind enough to invite us to there creek side mountain cabin when they head up {For Memorial Day weekend 2013}. Its always nice to go to a place that can accommodate our dogs and our kids! On this particular trip we had lots of fun with the kids, creek, outdoors and nearby town of Copper Hill, TN. ( Interesting side note the Bura Bura Mine in Ducktown, TN, was one of the 2 things that 1969 astronauts could see from space when they first entered (the Great wall was the other))

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What we learned from this trip:

  • Planning meals ahead was a good idea, and left us time to run around and take great nature walks.
  • Yelp reviews pay-off and we found a great Cuban Sandwich shop!
  • The dollar general is a destination (as is Copper Hill and Maccaysville)
  • An outdoor water play ground will entertain toddler and adults during the middle of the day.
  • Bob strollers, definitely are suitable for gravel roads
  • Bring a projector to watch movies at night, was a great way for the adults to mellow out before bedtime 😉

Special thanks to the Walters for the accommodations, child care, and the invite.

 
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Posted by on May 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Spring Break CHS Family Vacation 2013

Our first family vacation started out a bit rough.. we got on the road on Friday 3/29/2013 and traffic was pretty tough as it was rush hour out of Atlanta, GA.

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The first hour was spent with us explaining to Hart that we were going to the Beach and she accepted that willingly! We stopped for food outside of Covington, GA about an hour from the house to realize Sudesh forgot his wallet. At this point we decided to turnaround and get it and this put us another hour behind. We finally pulled in around 2am and everyone was asleep until 7am at which point Hart and Sol woke us up.

We dragged ourselves out of bed and day 1 of vacation had begun off to check on our rental house. Then breakfast at the Village Cafe, in old town Mt. Pleasnt, when we got home we decided to go to the Beach.

By the second day of our trip we had established that taking to young children on vacation, was much more of an adventure in child care than anything else! We learned a good bit about balancing priorities, and decided that next vacation we needed to find another couple with kids, that would be willing to help out. (let us know if your interested)

Day 3 and we got a bit more beach time and this helped out tremendously, Hart really liked the water, and this made us look forward to warmer weather. Unfortunately it was really windy on Folly so this meant no swimming or splashing. We also got to get a bike ride in and test the bike trailer.

Day 4 & 5 are a blur of sleepless nites as baby Sol was not happy about the change of venue and outings to take care of our house in Charleston!

And after all that we made it back safe and sound!

Pictures of the adventure are here:Pictures

Woof Woof! Puppy and Human went with us and loved the yard and sand!

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Nanny Search 2.0

WE have sad news, our wonderful nanny is leaving us for a job opportunity.  I knew this day would come but was hoping latter rather than sooner.  The positive side to all of this is that she will continue to be part of the family and join us in celebrations and watching our two little girls grow.

With that said, we are looking for a full-time nanny, description below.

This is a posting for a nanny to provide full-time care to two children (a toddler of 2 years and an infant of 3 months) in the grant Park neighborhood of Atlanta Georgia.

Scope of responsibilities: The hours of this position are 8 AM to 5 PM, during the day the nanny receives an hour of break time and 2, 30 minute breaks. Given the nature of childcare these breaks are dependent on the children being asleep or at a scheduled activity. The primary goal of this position is to provide high quality care for two children. As a result an applicant should review their own individual background and be able to speak to their unique qualifications for this position. The position also includes requirements in light household cleaning, shuttling, grocery shopping, and laundry as needed. Finally any applicant should be able to take on other duties as assigned (per a discussion of responsibilities and compensation of course).

The family: This position is in the home of a family with two full-time working adults, 2 medium-sized dogs, and two children. Occasionally the family will have house guests, family, and friends, over. One adult works from home in a separate office area away from main living quarters. Dogs have a full run of the living quarters with children, and occasionally may require petting. Depending on schedules and/or unforeseen circumstances such as sickness adults may choose to be at home during nanny care.

The philosophy: Given the many backgrounds of possible applicants the family strongly emphasizes a focus on the complete child. This includes extensive dialogue about discipline, responsibility, ethical and moral decision-making and social skills building. A well-versed candidate will be able to provide an interdisciplinary approach that includes age-appropriate educational activities, crafts & skill building, entertainment and extracurricular activities, and general practical home economics. Applicants with a four-year degree, international experience, a history of volunteerism, a unique familiarity with the East Atlanta / Grant Park area, and a desire to interact with two great kids, will receive preference in the interview process.

What you should know: This position requires a personality-based interview, which includes questions about your childhood and upbringing, questions about your discipline style, questions about your background and stability. Applicants will have to pass a credit and background check in order to proceed to final selection. Documentation of stable living situation and reliable transport may be needed.

Why this job: You will get to work in a highly flexible work environment, with a management team that is open to new ideas and provides a supportive working environment. Compensation is commensurate with current market salaries. This is not an hourly based position it is salaried, there is no variance in weekly/monthly pay. At the end of each quarter (three-month period) you are eligible for a bonus. Five paid holidays are included with this position. Each month accrual of one day of sick or personal time is achieved. This position includes a purchase card for expenses related to the position, and access to a well-equipped vehicle for transporting the children.

If you are interested and would like to set up an interview contact us via email to info@increasinglymarried.com

Be sure to include a letter of introduction and in the subject line write “Nanny Search 2.0”

Thanks!

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Girdhari 2012 A Recap!

Well how do you really recap a year of life?  Girdhari holiday 2012

I guess we can start at the end of 2011…

Sudesh & Melissa enjoyed there time in Charleston, but as Hart was starting to get older we both realized it was time to to move back to Atlanta, GA.  We have both had a penchant for the city where we met and Sudesh has a large extended family living in the metro area. We both have life long friends who live close by and who have children in similar age groups. It was nice getting back to the city and we decided to rent a house for the year (2012). We both found jobs that we enjoy and got to work raising Hart!

Let’s look back on 2012…

January we celebrated Hart’s first year with a fun Chili Party!  And started the process for remodeling our May Ave house.

February we found out (Melissa) was pregnant, so we started the process of finding a family home (a house in which, we could raise a large family comfortably).  We also took a trip out to California to visit Grandpa Joe and Grandma AJ.  This is also were Sudesh got stuck in the sand!  We met with our architect and finalized plans and met with the structural engineer.

March Melissa took a sewing class with Emily and they learned the fundamentals of sewing. Since the class, Melissa hasn’t found much time to sew but has a list of projects collecting on Pintrest.  We took Hart on her first outdoor adventure to Mccaysville,TN for a cabin adventure (Thanks Julie, Andrew and Gretchen).  This is where she took some steps but it wasn’t until April when the walking began.  We started to realize that remodeling May Ave from a 1940’s bungalow to a contemporary structure was not cost effective thus we met with our Realtor, David Vannort at Atlanta Intown Realty.

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April we took Hart to visit Disney World (one is much to young!, and it was an excuse to see Jay & Sydney) (Accommodations were courtesy of Beth and Emily, thanks for making this trip possible!)  April also brought us a visit from Grandpa Joe, Melissa’s dad, and Hart’s first steps.  As all parents experience, the kids don’t walk they run!  With plans stopped on May Ave. we put in numerous offers to foreclosures and short sales in East Atlanta, only to loose out to contractors. Ohh Sudesh also surprised Melissa with a new (to us) minivan 🙂  On the Friday before Mother’s Day Sudesh fly up to Ohio, drove four hours to the dealership, bought the minivan, then drove to Atlanta.  Melissa didn’t suspect a thing as Sudesh used the common excuse that he would be on calls all day and then out with Henry to see a local band.  The only fault in the plan was that when Sudesh pulled up to the house Human and Puppy started barking because they didn’t recognize the car.  Melissa being concerned had to check out the commotion thus finding the new van and Sudesh behind the wheel.  The plan was to present the car the next morning with a tiny bow on it.  Either way, Sudesh was able to get a fantastic deal on a Toyota Sienna so we could accommodate two kids, two dogs, two adults and guests, comfortably!

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May Melissa took a course to create Computer Based Training and Sudesh started a fitness boot camp. We enjoyed the Cabin visit so much we took Hart back!  and the dogs!  The house hunt continued with our search moving away from East Atlanta to nearby neighborhoods- Ormewood Park, Grant Park, Kirkwood, Chandler Park…

June took us to Bonaroo with free back stage passes (Thanks to Sarah, Henry, and Charlotte) We also got to see the University of the South (Suwanee).  Hart loved staying up and playing with Char and they both began to conquer the stairs much to our chagrin.  More house hunting then took us to put a few offers on houses in the City of Decatur, again to loose out to higher bids.

July we enjoyed the Georgia summer heat! and found our new home… in Ormewood Park.  The move meant leaving our beloved East Atlanta, we are only 5 minutes from the May Ave. house but it meant switching schools. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, you’re concerned about school already?!?, but with Melissa being an educator it’s important to us to be involved in the local public school.  So bye Burgess-Peterson PTA, hello Parkside PTA and Neighborhood Charter PTA.  Keeping our options open, more like being involved at both in case Hart wins the lottery in a few years! July also became the month that we sold Sudesh’s Vespa, leaving his single life behind, but also brought us his beloved Low-Speed vehicle, also known as a golf cart, the Gem.  Or as Hart calls it, The Go-Go Machine.

August we bought our new house and remodeled it a little bit! (refinish some hardwood floors, install hardwoods in bedrooms, paint rooms, build a fence (remember we have two crazy dogs who like to check out the neighborhood un-escorted, making the house more energy efficient  hello 2102 rebates!).  It took awhile to purchase the house as there was some negotiating about a proposed easement… but we moved in at the end of the month.  It was the right house, the right time, so it all worked out.  Not to mention the house had everything on our wish list.  Thanks to David Vannort for his continued support finding the right house for us!  Thankfully Ajee, Chandra- Sudesh’s mother, came to help unpack boxes and set up the house (Melissa was very pregnant  so we could house an end of the month Housewarming Party.  It was a crazy timeline but with Chandra’s help we made it work! Hart started school in August at The Ormewood School.  She goes two days a week from 9:30 to 1:30 pm.  She enjoys going to school and reminds us of who she will see, Char-Char (friend & classmate), Pearl (classmate) and Debbie (one of her teachers).  Hart continues to grow leaps and bounds in her language, cognitive development, gross and fine motor skills, etc. and all thanks to The Ormewood School and our fantastic nanny, Jamie Mayo.  Jamie joined us in August and has fast become a member of the family.

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September brought the nesting out in Melissa as she prepared for baby.  It also brought us a visit from Jay and Sydney.  Other than the visit, we continued to settle in the house, work and raise Hart.

October started the holiday season with Hart dressing as a Spider and enjoying passing out candy to Trick-r-Treaters.  She was under the weather so early to bed with a dose of medicine.

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November 8th brought the new family addition- Solara “Sol” Issa Girdhari.  6lbs, 8oz. She looks just like Hart but definitely has her own personality.  Chandra came to visit, help with Sol and play with Hart.  Hart has fallen in love with her Ajee, talking walks, having tea, and bonding over books and the morning routine.  Since Ajee’s visit, Hart has been asking for Ajee.  Every time the phone rings, you can hear Hart, “Ajee, Ajee, Ajee?”  We also had a fantastic visits from friends and family welcoming Sol to the family.  Melissa’s brother, Joe was Stateside and was able to come for Thanksgiving, it was a great time bonding over turkey, tablet devices and walks.  Joe and his family live in Belgium (he’s in the ARMY) so it was a special treat for the holidays.

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December has brought us bonding time with Hart and Sol and a low key Christmas.  As for the “Christmas Tree” we hadn’t had one for several years and didn’t have any decorations and now since Hart is older Melissa wanted a tree.  Sudesh was not as eager as he wanted Hart to want a tree, whereas Melissa informed me that in order for Hart to want a tree we have to give her the experience first.  The compromise was a tree the size of Hart, well a little taller, and ornaments that she could hang- no glass.   Towards the New Year we will have another visit from Jay and Sydney.

We look forward to 2013 with some activities already on the books…. Hart’s 2nd birthday, Jay & Sydney’s wedding in June, some camping this summer, Nicoli’s wedding this summer in Germany, Marlyn and Raj’s wedding in October, Sol’s 1st birthday…. to name a few.

Here’s to a fantastic and wild 2012 and a new and exciting 2013!

 
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Posted by on December 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Mama and Solara Issa Girdhari

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Everyone’s doing well and baby is trying to nurse

 
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Posted by on November 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

She’s here!

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A little baby girl 6 pounds 8 ounces

 
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Posted by on November 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known..

It’s just not happening here (yet).. we got to the hospital way early so mostly, it’s waiting in a tiny room, while various nurses poke Melissa. Melissa and baby both are healthy, they have the baby heartbeat monitor on and it sounds just like an Orca Whale.  As of now we are scheduled for a 1 pm, there is a chance we could get bumped, so for now cross your fingers..

 
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Posted by on November 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Is this thing on? Stay Tuned for an impending birth..

It;s been roughly 1 year since our last post! A great deal has transpired, when Melissa has time she’ll be updating you on the year of change. If your reading this on a tiny screen or have a nat’s attention span see below.

  • We moved back to Atlanta from Charleston and rented a house
  • Hart learned to walk, talk and express herself
  • Sudesh & Melissa changed jobs
  • We bought a home ( post to come on that)
  • Melissa got pregnant and is delivering on 11/8 @ around 11am

Stay tuned for new posts!

 
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Posted by on November 7, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

The Crazies Come Out When You Post

Nothing like posting a nanny ad to spice up the storytelling in my life!

 Current Posting on Care.com and sittercity.com:

We aren’t rich but we need a nanny. One that speaks her mind because staying silent doesn’t help anyone, seriously.

I am not looking for super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kid as if they are their own. We don’t want someone who has a lot of theories on the right way to raise kids, because in the end, we’re just a couple doing our best.

Introduce me to your daily workout, sing lyrics from the White Stripes, read Southern literature or tell me the best place to get a burger in the Village at 2 a.m., but do not tell me to that keeping my child in a car seat for an hour helps them learn to sit or that a diaper that doesn’t smell doesn’t need to be changed.

What do you want from us? Free food check, respect and dignity check, ability to tell us our kid is a brat, double check. Deal breaker passive aggressive behavior, financial issues, lack of understanding or knowledge of early childhood education, no desire to learn or have that all magical ambition (K West said it best. Keep on moving.)

You gotta be able to drive with a valid license. If you make it to summer, you may want to pop on over to the library, zoo, pool, or pick up the occasional item at the store. So be able to drive a minivan or car.

I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, and whether I have to RSVP to that birthday party yet. Hours are 8 a.m. -5 p.m.

Okay, if you’re still reading this ad, it means:

a) I am a halfway decent writer and maybe I really will get that book deal I’m yearning for;

b) you need a job desperately;

c) you think this just might be destiny, and that you could be one of the few, the proud, the potential nanny of our dreams;

d) you want all the information about job requirements.

Contact us if you want to be our nanny.

Posted by
Melissa H. from Atlanta, GA

So we have gotten a lot of responses, more from care.com than sittercity.  I wonder what that says about the sites? Yeah, the post may be a little in-your-face, but you know what, I don’t want the nanny’s who will love my kid like their own.  It’s time to be real!

Only three responders expressed their distaste for our ad.  Read below!

Response #1 (she orginially contacted us, we responded with interview questions to answer, she responded with answers and asked if your child could also be part of our share.  I responded that she wasn’t a good fit for us.  Below is her response back to us after being rejected. Ignored her response.)

Hello Mellisa,

I apologize for my previous abrupt response. I do agree with you that I am not a good fit for this position, seeing that I am overqualified and would surpass all of your expectations. As a well read, experienced, professional, and affable nanny it was a gross oversight on my part; I did not realize that applying through care.com for a nanny position I would encounter an ad for a puppet/clown or someone you could manipulate. Initially I had compassion for you and thought that you were a sensible mother, but it appears that I was mistaken. Unfortunately, this explains why your previous nanny(ies) ruffled your feathers. Being a nanny for more than a decade, I honestly don’t think that your child is a brat, he just needs a professional nanny (which you dont want) and a mother who thinks sensibly.

I guarantee that I will see your postings for HELP again, and again, and again.

Good Luck in your continued search!

 

Response #2: (spelling errors are from respondent)  Of course I just ignored this one.

Melissa,

You are unbelieveable… Do sane people really respond to your disgrantled run-ons? I have been a nanny for more than 16 years and I thought that I had seen it all. You are a poor excuse for a future employer and even worse for a mother. You should be ashamed of yourself. An educated and classy person can be upset about bad expereinecs without abusing their readers or potential nanny [you do not have a clue and can not afford a real nanny].

You have some nerve, woman. Perharps, if you compensated better you would get more qualified applicants to respond to your post and less undesirable childcare providers. If anyone of substance or dignity reponds to your posting, you can rest assured, that they are desparate and will leave you the second something better comes around.

STOP making a fool out of yourself. Know that there are bad people everywhere, but amongst them, there are decent hardworking individuals who respects others and truly loves children. Have you seen the movie “The HELP”, I sugest that you do. Be very careful, you are tredding on thin ice.

What kind of mother are you? Everything that you stated you do not want in a nanny is exactly what you need. Please review the definition of a nanny. I have been around for a long time… and based on you attitude you have big problems. I feel sorry for the people in your circle.

I could not just ingnore your disrespect…

 

Response #3: (again ignored this one too.)

Hello Melissa,

I have read your posting and have found it quite informative.I am elated that you are interested in a nanny that speaks her mind. Okay! Here goes!

You obviously had a negative experience with your previous nannies/babysitters,(based on your attitude, I’m assuming it’s more than one) but this not a forum for this! A mother’s group or a blog perhaps?

As a professional nanny, who holds absolutely no interest in your position I am utterly appalled at your audacity to not only air your dirty laundry, but to also disrespect the profession of a nanny! How dare you? And in such a public manner?

NEWS FLASH! You get what you pay for! You obviously cannot afford a nanny nor do you know or understand the definition and job description of one. A mother’s helper would be more suitable but in your case, you need a puppet! LOL! Or a Mexican with a drivers license! Don’t get me wrong, I have no problems with Mexicans since my cleaner is one, but they are the only ones who would work for what you suggest, and because of the language barrier allow you to dictate their every move!

I’m sorry, but based on the way you speak and the content of your ad, I’d be rather suprised if you had memberships to the zoo, museums, aquarium etc

What kind of mother would not want a nanny to raise her children as their own? Are you out of your mind? The alternative is to have someone who would treat your child as ” just a job”; and trust me, YOU DO NOT WANT THAT!

In my 11yrs as a professional nanny working with upper middle class and affulent families, my expertise, thoughts and opinions on child-rearing are not only welcomed and appreciated, but highly valued. Professional nannies do not workwith theories but with empirical dataqand techniques that’s proven to be effective. What mother would stunt a child’s emotional and ssocial developmental. Nannies raise well adjusted, respectful, pleasant and well behaved children. (And may I add nannies would not refer to your children as BRATS however unbecoming their behavior.) Had you hired a nanny your child would not have been classified a brat!
Since you a seeking someone to “entertain” your child like Bozo would, do you by any chance do anything constructive with your child or do you play the interim role of Bozo on the days that “caregiver/high school kid/grandma/puppet” is not at work.

I hope my message resonates in your spirit and that you reconsider what you’re asking. Children are precious and deserve the best

 

Sudesh’s original post:

Wonder if this one would have elicited way more negative responses.  J  I love my hubby!

 We aren’t rich but we need a nanny. One that speaks her mind because staying silent doesn’t help anyone, seriously… Don’t like that we ask the dogs to clean up spilled milk, and that I won’t pick up our kid during the work day ( I work from home) or that my wife will ask you direct questions then look elsewhere . We know there are many more ad’s with families but, help me, our community and our family.
I am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kid as if they are their own. You won’t. Really. She is infinitely lovable, but trust me, she’s mine and you will move on when your journey with us is over.  You’ll save some funny stories and a delightful email every now and again, but you won’t grieve. Nor will we. (Okay, we did grieve for a few of our past sitters.)

We don’t want someone who has a lot of theories on the right way to raise kids, because in the end, we’re just a couple doing our best. We are willing to learn from you, or anyone, but not so much about how we should parent our spawn, that’s what Amazon is for.  Teach my wife sewing techniques (she has recently picked up a new hobby), introduce me to your daily workout, sing lyrics from the White Stripes, read Southern literature or tell me the best place to get a burger in the Village at 2Am, but do not tell me to that keeping my child in a car seat for an hour helps them learn to sit and read…

More importantly if you cannot multi task or communicate without the assistance of a picture book, don’t even bother replying. If you are the type who doesn’t notice crap on the floor, skip to the next post, because dirty floors are a deal breaker. As you know kids what’s on the floor.  If you can cook, all the better.

Let’s talk money; we want a nanny SHARE, because honestly $x,xxx here a week is a house payment, so we have two kids in our share.  We are open to three only if you can multitask (see paragraph above) and have eyes in the back of your head. We know this makes it hard but nothing in this post should indicate it’s easy.  As we would be your employers, we would like to understand what terms would make the share attractive to you.  When you think of payment do you think about cash, because we don’t, taxes here we come!

What do you want from us? Free food check, respect and dignity check, ability to tell us our kid is a brat, double check… Deal breaker passive aggressive behavior, financial issues, lack of understanding or knowledge of early childhood education, no desire to learn or have that all magical ambition (K West said it best ) Keep on moving..

If you are fundamentally unhappy with your life, you will be unhappy if you take this job, so do us all a favor and do not apply for employment with us. Also, if you suspect all middle class families are frivolous, we are not for you. I do not want to hide my occasional frivolous purchase.

You gotta be able to drive with a valid license.  DUI, Vehicular Manslaughter, move to the next post.  You won’t have to drive in the City, but if you make it to the summer and still work for us, you may want to pop on over to the Library or Zoo, or pick up the occasional item at the store.  So be able to drive a minivan or car; gas money provided.  It’s your responsibility to get to work and back.  A trip to pick you up is not something that we want as a habit.

Still with us?  Can you swim? Swimming is good, my wife is a lifeguard, (former lifeguard , but seriously in her head she still is and although Atlanta is land locked) expect many pools and swim time. Are you uncomfortable getting in the pool keep on AD cursing.

If you do drugs or drink enough so that you’re grumpy in the morning and grumpier at night prior to that next cocktail seek help and leave us alone.

Now is the time for you to focus on you.  I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, and whether I have RSVPed to that birthday party yet. Help me dear G-d keep track of our organic whole milk supply and also, also, also, what should I make for dinner tomorrow night.

Hours are 8am in the morning until 5pm, think of it as a day of fun filled activities and play dates, snacks, lunches,naps, dinners and riveting conversations about global warming, Jello and tummy time.

When you do get to go home your time off will be respected. If I would like you to give extra hours, I’ll ask. If you say yes, you get paid extra. If you say no, I will not fire you or hate you. Except if it is a school holiday or if i have a sick kid, then I might ask, and unless you have a final exam worth 2/3 of your grade or tickets to The Lion King you may need to help out.

Okay, if you’re still reading this ad, it means:

a) I am a halfway decent writer and maybe I really will get that book deal I’m yearning for
b) you need a job desperately
c) you think this just might be destiny, and that you could be one of the few, the proud, the potential nanny of our dreams.
D) you want all the information about job requirements, so that you can write me emails about how I should stay home with my kids otherwise they are going to grow up to be sociopaths. (If my pen pal is out there, wassup?)

Best of luck to all of you in your search for a job. Seriously. Job searching sucks. No two ways about it.

Contact us if you want to be our nanny.

What have I learned?

  1. Gotta have a thick skin. It’s not personal.
  2. I really want a nanny who has a sense of humor.
  3. Money shouldn’t be the bottom line.
  4. Sugary and sweet are not who I am.
  5. You gotta put it out there, take the risk.

Will keep you posted on our search!

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2012 in Uncategorized